I Got Divorce
Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
To Prevent Infection
Santa: Why are you heating the knife.
Banta: To do suicide.
Santa: But why are you heating it?
Banta: To prevent infection.
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500 year old statue you have broken.
Santa: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.